Oh where oh where has HEDWIG GONE?
by Phillip Eater of Marshmellows
Summary: Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny are all eating when all of the sudden they cant decide hedwigs gender thouroghly upset Hedwig leaves and they all go on a quest to get himher back before bedtime!
1. Hedwig can talk and tangents galore!

--Disclaimer--

I OWN NOTHING, NOTHING I TELL YOU! JK OWNS IT ALL!

I don't own the radish either he belongs to trevorthetoad

where oh where has Hedwig gone?

Harry-OMG HEY MAILS HERE!

Hermione-HA I used my brain powers and realized that .00000000000001 seconds before

you TAKE THAT!

Ron- WOW! WHY ARE WE ALL YELLING?

Harry- because I am special and was cursed by Lord Voldemort when I was young!

Ron-has fear in his eyes

Fear-is in Ron's eyes

Ron's eyes-have fear

Fear- has nothing

Harry- OMG TANGENT AHHHH, oh look its Hedwig c'mon HERE BOY!

Hermione- Hedwig is a girl.

Harry- HOW DO YOU KNOW!

Hermione- Because I'm smarter than you.

Ginny- DON'T TALK TO HARRY LIKE THAT HES FINE!

Ron- (looks angry) OMG HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT ANOTHER GUY, YOU

ARE NOT ALLOWED TO LOVE SIT DOWN I RULE YOU!

Ginny-is quiet and has the face coloring of a radish

The Radish- is offended

Hedwig- This is totally irrelevant to the story Harry I'm a girl, Hermione you are stupid.

Hedwig-flies off

Harry- NOOO HEDWIG, MY FRIENDS WE HAVE A QUEST! TO FIND HEDWIG!

All- LETS DO IT!


	2. A chapter in which they decide nothing!

--Again Disclaimer, don't own yada,yada,yada oh yea don't own frodo and stuff--

Ok, I'm aware that last time the movement stars you know the little stars above your 8 key well they didn't work and the people were saying what they were doing so now I'm going to use the () ok thx!

2.Out of Hogwarts and Ron gets mail

Harry-Ok tonight everyone this will take full scale cooperation so I will need all the D.A. members to meet in the great hall at 11:49 p.m. tonight!

Ron-Why does it have to be 11:49 that's a minute before midnight?

Harry-Because I was cursed by Lord Voldemort when I was young, therefore am cooler than you!

Hermione- LETS DO IT (starts to flick her tongue like the guy off KISS)

Harry/Ron-right…

(later that night)

((great hall))

(((11:49)))

((((p.m.))))

(((((the fear has something a toy teddy bear named George)))))

Harry- OK for this mission I want Ron, Ginny because she's a hottie, 'Mione, and Luna!

Ron- (is very angry) HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT MY SISTER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT ALLOWED TO LOVE, I OWN HER!

Everyone-(points wand at ron) AVARDA KADAVRA!

(flash of green light hits ron)

Ron- OMG I JUST GOT HIT BY A FLASH OF GREEN LIGHT

Green light- (hits ron)

Ron- (is hit)

The Hit- (is powerful)

The Power-(has one ring to rule them all, one ring to bind them)

Gollem- precious?

Frodo and the rest of the hobbits- HAHA WE FOUND YOU LETS POKEM WITH OUT DAGGAR AND MAKE HIM EAT OUR TOE HAIR HAHAHAHHA

Harry- oh that's sick

Hermione- well that's that craaazzzzyyy fantasy for you

J.R.R Tolkein- HEY!

Hey- (has exclimation marks)

! marks- (have nothing)

The Fear and the ! marks- (start to have a long convorsation about not owning anything)

Harry- AHH OMG, OMG WHATS WITH ALL THE TANGENTS AND GOIN OFF SUBJECT

Ron- (has fear in his eyes)

Harry- MAKE IT STOP!


	3. hehe mature chapter!

--Disclaimer—

Yea, yea don't own, yes I know and so do you

(due to extremely stupid material the following types of people should not read they might take it seriously)

Just plain stupid people

blonds

old people that can't take a joke

young people that cant take a joke

(thank you)

Twas a bright and sunny day on the Hogwarts grounds and the DA members that had been chosen were deciding where to start their search.

Hermione- Ok now that were all here I think its best if we decide what were best at then play to it.

Harry-didn't we do this in our first adventure?

Ron-Taco?

Harry-Bell?

Hermione- SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTHS AND LISTEN TO ME!

Ron- Hermione are you going through your period?

Hermione- no…

Harry- no…wait what were we talking about?

Luna- period?

(all stare)

Ginny- Harry's a hunksickle

RON-(is angry) OMG HOW DARE YOU GO AND DIE FOOLISH GIRL I OWN YOU!

Cher- DO YOU BELIVE IN LOVE AFTER LIFE!

Harry-(blushes) maybe…

Hermione- anyway about the talent thing I AM THE SMART ONE!

Ron- I AM THE BABOON WITH RED HAIR AND AN IQ OF 5 AND CAN PLAY CHESS

Harry- I AM THE ADVENTURES ONE AND MENTALLY DISTURBED BECAUSE I SEE THINGS INSIDE OF MY HEAD

Rita Skeita- oh look he craves attention

Hermione- DIE _AVARDA KADAVRA_

Ginny- I AM THE SCARLET WOMAN!

Luna- I AM THE MENTALY CHALLENGED HOTTIE WITH REALLY BAD A.D.D.

Cher- AND I AM THE SINGER WHO IS ACTUALLY A TERRIBLE GYPSY

Cher- I feel pretty

Harry- O so pretty

Cher- I feel pretty

Harry- and witty

Cher- AND GAY

Luna- and I pity and girl who isn't me!

(all stare in amazement)

(the amazement is being stared at)

Harry- here we go again

(at is after stared)

(is, is before being and before before, which comes before it)

Hermione- raise your hand if you understood that!

(just luna is raising her hand)

(hand is being raised)

(raised is proud to be being something)

(raised turns the color of a radish)

(the radish is sickened)

Harry- Ok lets go TO THE FOREST!

(even though they look for 90009342394523475982347598732094857 hours they find nothing exept for a picture of Ron's aunt Muriel)

Ron- is making out with picture

Harry-wasn't that supposed to be in the little marks?

Ron-nods

Harry- o forget it THIS CHAPTER IS OVER!

Hermione- were never going to find her

Harry- HEDWIGS A MAN

Hedwig-(from miles away) IMA GIRL YOU #&#(!&!)

(all stare at the raccoon that Rita is making out with)


End file.
